MY BELOVED MONSTER

A Siberian Forest cat spends 17 years with her brilliant, reclusive, deeply unconventional human companion.

Within pages of starting this moving book, connoisseurs of fine prose may find themselves gasping with delight, as will cat lovers. Carr, best known for his 1994 novel The Alienist and also a distinguished military historian, reveals that he has always recognized himself to be an “imperfectly reincarnated” feline. When he was 5, he handed his mother a drawing of a boy with the head of a cat and said, “This is me before I was born.” You may well be convinced this is true by the end of Carr’s amazing tale of commitment, communication, self-discovery, and adventure with his cat, Masha, a half-tame “wildling” who loves the music of Richard Wagner. The author has had a life of exceptional pain and tragedy: His father, the Beat Generation figure Lucien Carr, was given to episodes of physical abuse that resulted in significant emotional and medical consequences. Also, despite Carr’s profound bonds with other beloved cats, several came to difficult ends he could not prevent. When he met Masha, who deftly ensured that he would take her home from the overwhelmed Vermont animal shelter where she landed after abuses of her own, he felt his redemption. The two become life partners and were never separated for more than a handful of nights, each of those for hospitalizations caused by Carr’s ever more dire physical condition. The story of their life together in the spacious house the author built for himself in Rensselaer County, New York, and in the woods and grounds surrounding it, in all seasons and weather, is a testament to both the human and feline spirits.

One of the most powerful and beautiful grief narratives ever written, including all the memoirs about people.